President Donald J. Trump has deployed a National Guardsman to patrol Blencoe, Iowa.
"I'm taking this step today to put down the protests and violence in one of Monona County's most beautiful cities", said the President. "In addition, I've lowered the price of corn by 1500 percent, maybe even more!"
The troop, Private Harry Harrison of the Iowa National Guard arrived from his home in Sioux City Monday evening and established an outpost in what he refers to as the "East 40".
Private Harrison says he finds the deployment stressful.
"There's no place to get food in this town, no hotel, no bar, and the heat and humidity are terrible! I can't even find a place to go to the bathroom!"
Local farmers plan to advise Harrison on rural bathroom practices.

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