"We follow the lead of the golden glow from the White House to shape the state's direction."
"We're running the state budget at a one billion dollar deficit, but we can't take all the credit for that", Bird continued. "We couldn't have done it without the help of the Republican-controlled Iowa House and Senate!"
Bird pointed to other recent accomplishments of Republican State government.
- Removing civil rights from transgender people
- Reducing food and health benefits for the economically-disadvantaged
- Creating obstacles for reproductive health, and
- Destroying the state's farm economy
A new challenge emerged for the AG this week: attacking 1st amendment freedom of speech, but Brenna Bird would not come up short.
While the Iowa Board of Regents began the work of expelling students and firing staff who they believe made inappropriate remarks in light of a recent assassination, Bird took a strong position during an interview on the PBS show Iowa Press.
"Certainly, the First Amendment is very important. It's not absolute. I would say each one is individualized and has to do with the employment policies of the university and the types of rules they have for their employees that are paid for with taxpayer dollars. So it's very different."
Analysts are currently trying to decipher her comments.
Editor's note: In these confusing times, we need to stress that the above is satire, much like you would find on a late-night talk show, but of a lesser quality.Also, fact-checking earlier posts: there is no evidence that AG Bird was a member of the lollipop guild.
